Gifts on holidays?

Question

Have you ever not giving your child gifts on a hoilday because how awful they truly were?

Answer

No.  There is a lot more that goes into behavior other than the gifts they get.  If a child behaves awfully, the parent needs to figure out how to help them rather than punish them for behavior they may not even understand.

Answer

No.
First of all, waiting that long to implement a consequence is pointless. If you start telling a kid in March that they won’t get presents at Christmas it’s a long time to be saying that for the rest of the year.
Secondly, I think it is too harsh a consequence for young children. How awful would it be everyone asking you what you got for Christmas, all other family members getting gifts, etc. and you were the only one left out? You’re just setting them up to have a day of terrible behaviour at Christmas when you’re likely to already have a lot on your plate, be around other family, etc.
Thirdly, I believe in logical consequences rather than disconnected consequences that have nothing to do with the behaviour. If they throw a ball at their brother’s face for example then they need to sit out of the basketball game. Having proportionate consequences linked to the behaviour teaches a lot more about the consequences of their actions.

Answer

No. First place, I consider gifts an expression of my love, not a reward for good behavior. I don’t even like the whole “you better be good or Santa won’t come” thing. I also can’t imagine thinking my child was “truly awful.” I might not like his behavior at times, but withholding gifts would never be how I dealt with that.

Answer

No, but back in the day a great uncle of mine got coal and switches because he was a complete and total asshole. He would have been about 10 years old. But that was like 50+ years ago. 
We don’t go big for Christmas - we do the gifts of 3. So even if my kid was terrible, I’d still do the 3 small gifts. 
I think the overall thing to work on is setting them up for success. 2020 has been a shit show of a year. Maybe therapy would help?

Gifts on holidays?

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