How did you prepare for becoming a parent?

Question

Before having/adopting kids, how in depth did you plan on parenting styles? I feel like there are so many things to discuss, but I also think sometimes you have to see how things play out since life doesnt always go according to plan. 
Did you discuss:
-discipline styles
-plans for school (private/public/homeschool/etc.)
-how to support LGBTQ+
-what age kid will get certain freedoms
These are just a few examples, but i’d love to hear your opinions and styles. Are you a go with the flow parent, or are you a planner? Maybe youre in between! Do you think your partner’s style compliments yours? Let me know😀

Answer

I personally feel like you just learn as you go 🤷🏻‍♀️
Nothing can prepare you that far into the future honestly.
I’ve got an 11 and 8 year old and I’m pregnant.
I’m learning everyday how to parent an almost teenager!

Answer

There’s a few things you just don’t know until you’re there. For me parenting style was one of those things. 
I’m a mix between a laid back go with the flow and a googling maniac up until 3am making sure his poop was normal. Ya know, balance. 
LGBTQ+ made me side eye a little bit. But i think i know what you mean. My husband discussed in a way that we both know whole heartedly we would welcome it all with loving arms if it comes to it. I’m not sure if a game plan for that is possible besides being supportive. Never talk about it in a shameful sense or in anyway that might make them feel like they would be made into a mockery. Educating yourself would be probably the most helpful thing you can do if you ever crossed this bridge.

Answer

In our situation my husband kinda saw my parenting style long before we became parents because my sisters are significantly younger than me and were still kids when we met so he saw me help parent them a bit. We talked about some things like how I strongly desired our kids share a room and not play football and we obviously knew each other’s feelings about having a LGBTQ child, but a lot of it we’re figuring out on the fly because there’s so much that’s unpredictable. Like we have discipline styles we prefer but with a second child we’re learning not all kids respond to the same styles so we’re adjusting.

Answer

We bought up our hard no's and took it from there.

Answer

For things like parenting styles and teaching, me and my boyfriend have a general idea of what we're gonna do. 
I'm sure people can wing it successfully, but I at least wanna have some idea rather than no idea, you know?

Answer

We discussed it ALL. We both came from homes you went to therapy to get through so we discussed it all and like not even a year into our marriage we bought a home so we discussed schools and such. Being part of the lgbtq+ community we discussed that as well

Answer

I didn’t discuss any of these things with my husband because we were told we probably couldn’t have kids so we weren’t planning on it. Then boom, I got pregnant lol. I feel like most of these things could be assumed without directly speaking about them anyway. You’re gonna know if your partner is bigoted against LGBTQ people for example.

Answer

A lot of things are go with the flow because you don’t really know what you will do until you are faced with it . Teenagers are hard and as much as you try and teach them one thing they might the complete opposite and you just react in a way you never thought you would . Even with babies so many people say my baby won’t have a bottle after 1 or my baby won’t do this or that and then your baby turns one and u can’t get rid of the bottle and that’s ok but you just don’t know til your in it .

Answer

We discussed it all and then revisit topics every 3-6 months as needed. Our perspectives have changed quite a bit, but some things stayed the same.

Answer

I think it's a combination. You need to have some kind of strategy or goal as a couple, but every child is different and needs a personal approach, you just can't prepare for so yes you need to discuss it in advance, have a theory and a plan, but you also go with the flow.

How did you prepare for becoming a parent?

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