New to all this

Hi so I met my fiancé after his military career. I’m new to all the emotions of being in the military can bring. This year has been very hard mentally and financially on us. He lost his construction job at the start then his dad was killed. I know most military men deal with stuff differently than most. A lot drink when their stress is very high, a lot get mad. My question is how do you guys help them? How do you deal with their extreme ups and downs? I wasn’t there when he was in so I don’t know what he went through. I’m lost