Pregnancy?

Question

Ive had 2 miscarriages (4&6 wks) which was extremely devastating to my husband and I. It's a risk you take with a surgery I had and my fertility specialist said eventually we'd get one that will stick but after the 2nd, I was hesitant to try anymore. After a while, and under monitoring, I agreed to try one last time and found out a week ago that I was pregnant again but I haven't told my husband. As cruel as that sounds, and as much as it weighs on me, I don't want to tell him because if it doesn't stick, I don't want to cause him unnecessary pain. Am I in the wrong?

Answer

I understand wanting to protect him, but I wouldn’t be okay keeping it from him. I’ve had two miscarriages as well. But still told my husband right away when I got pregnant again, completely knowing it could end in a miscarriage. We were in it together, it wasn’t just me. My husband grieved very differently than me, and that’s fine. But it’s not for me to keep something like that from him. We are a team and we go through the best and the worst times together.

Answer

I think it depends on your guys relationship and how he would view it. He may want to be there to support you and he cant do that if he doesnt know. He may be offended when he finds out.

Answer

I had 2 early miscarriages. With the third pregnancy, I started taking progesterone right away and all the way through the first trimester. It is not proven to work but also harmless, so ask your doctor if you can try it  Look into it.

Answer

My husband would be really hurt that he didn’t know. And honestly I would need his support through that. I had a miscarriage in January and my husband was so supportive. He would lose all trust in me if I didn’t tell him. He’s also the type of guy who wants to know about my cycles, and when I ovulate, and be there for the pregnancy tests. I guess it depends on the guy, but if he was emotional about the miscarriages, I would assume he would also be pretty upset you didn’t tell him.

Answer

I had 2 back to back miscarriages, but I still told my husband ASAP the 3rd time. I personally think it’s wrong to not tell the father he has made a baby if you are in a good relationship. I would feel betrayed if my husband kept something so important from me.

Answer

I don’t think you should have to grieve alone if you do have to experience that again. And I think he deserves to know and would be hurt if you kept this from him. I get that you want to protect him and that’s super sweet, but he still deserves to know. After my loss I was hesitant but it taught me that anything can happen at anytime during your pregnancy. Best to enjoy the pregnancy and that baby for as long as you can. I lost mine at 17 weeks 4 months ago and am currently 7 weeks. I’m sorry for your losses and I hope you are able to share this pregnancy with him. Cherish every moment. Hope you both get to bring home a happy healthy baby! ❤️

Answer

I understand how you feel. You want to protect him however my partner would want to know either way. He would know it would upset him but he would hate if I was to have kept it a secret from him. Its something you should both go through together. You can always wait a while a see how things plan out. Maybe tell him when your further along like 8 or 9 weeks?

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