How do I break up with him?

Question

Been together for 5 years. Its going nowhere. Although we love each other very much and see each other maybe 5 or 6 times a week, he doesn't want to live together. He doesn't want to get married again. He has two kids and does not want anymore and is dead set on all those things. I am approaching 30 years old. I have never been married and I have no children. Not to sound conceited, but I am a good looking woman. I also clean, cook, take care of his kids and cater to him. I do everything a wife does without the commitment. I have tried to leave before. Told him I wasn't happy with how things are. He completely flipped out and wooed me back into his life. I've been in his childrens lives as a step mom figure for 5 years and I love them with all of my heart and soul.
But time is running out for me. I want to share a home. I want to go furniture shopping together. I want security. I would even settle for having a husband and GIVE UP having kids. 
Guys I truly love this man. But he just can't see it from my point of view. He says " why ruin what we have by living together?"  As much as it hurts , I know I have to leave. I want a future. 
What can I say?
*** thanks ladies, just trying to figure out what to say. Him and his kids are my entire life. I just have to love myself more. I want the strength

Answer

My husband and I both say leave him. (My husband says you should have left him after 2 or 3 years.) You have different goals and desires. He's not going to compromise or give you anything you want in a relationship. He's flat out told you that. Cut your losses and go find someone who wants a family with you.

Answer

Easy your life isn't what I want. It's over.🤷🏾‍♀️ He doesn't want the same things you do and you deserve to be happy. Don't get stuck in a situation you don't want.

Answer

One of you would never be happy with the other person's choice. 
You want different things in life, Even if you love each other that will not change. 
When you break up with him, Tell him that you want zero communication for at least six months. Tell him beforehand that you're going to block him and do it. Don't talk to him no matter how much you miss him, you will get over it.

Answer

The problem is that you want him to change for you and after 5yrs nothing has happened. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? You get what I'm saying. You have given him all the benefits of being with you without actually being with you. Don't end up one of those women getting married after 20yrs of being bf&gf.😑

Answer

I love that you know what you want! I agree that it’s time for you to leave and move on. He was obviously not going to give you the life you want to live and that’s ok. We love everyone for a reason and maybe he just helped shape you into who you are preparing you for your future husband! 
Don’t give up kids to settle for a husband. Live your life, create mini you’s if you want! CREATE AS MANY AS YOU WANT! Lol as long as you’re prepared and want them... but do you, go with your gut. Don’t settle. 
I wish you luck and I know you can do it ❤️ you will find someone out there who will get down on one knee & beg to live with you, beg you to have his children & more! 🥰 You never know unless you try.

Answer

I’d just explain you love him, but if he is set on what he wants and it’s different that what you want that’s the end 🤷🏻‍♀️
Hard when you love him and the kids so much, but if you want a home, marriage etc and he says no, and won’t change the relationship is already over

Answer

To answer your question the way to break up with him is give him an ultimatum.. give me SOMETHING that i want or I’m leaving. Easier said than done and it’ll hurt but it will be worth it in the end when you look at the time you’ve wasted. Also you have to be serious.. don’t leave to go back to him because he’ll take advantage and know you won’t leave and you definitely will never get what you want. Hope this helps.

Answer

You definitely shouldn’t settle because of what he thinks.. you deserve everything that you want and there’s someone out there willing to give it to you. If you guys can’t come to an agreement about any of that you guys shouldn’t be together& he definitely doesn’t love you as much as he says to do something that’ll make you happy. You only have one life to live. Don’t waste it! 👍🏼

Answer

Oh and time isn't running out for you either my cousin had her first baby at 35 he is 8 now. I was with my ex for 12yrs birthed 3kids no commitment. Met my husband July2017(I was still with my ex)broke up with my ex June 2018 on my birthday. Official July2018 got engaged December 2018 Married March 2019. Now I'm happier than ever💗

How do I break up with him?

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