Is there a big difference in how boys and girls are raised?

This is something I’ve been thinking about. I don’t have any brothers and I’m raising girls so I really can’t answer. This scenario within my family is what’s making me ask this question.

I have a male cousin who is an only child. His parents separated. However his mum had a new man in her life from the time he was a teenager. My cousin is in his late 20s now.

Well it seems that my cousin was pretty emotionally neglected growing up. I can’t say with certainty but I would guess it’s because his Mum was preoccupied with her name man. This seems to really hurt my cousin to this day.

He was a “problem teenager” always getting into trouble with school, fighting, drinking, smoking drugs and all the rest. I feel this was more than likely a huge cry for attention. His mums way of discipline was pretty hard and he admits he is scared of her. She was heavy handed with him, and even describes a time when she hit with him with a chair to teach a lesson.

She even allowed her partner to get physical with him even though he didn’t take on a paternal role at all.

When he was going through really important times in his life she was never there, she would always be on vacation.

Anyway, it made me wonder if she had this approach because he was a boy. This heavy handed, letting him be independent approach.

I wonder if she had a daughter instead, would she have raised him differently. Do girls warrant being raised in a softer way? My aunt has a mindset where men should be men and they need to be tough.

I come from a family of all girls and my dad often says he would have been very different in his approach had we have been boys, in the sense he would have been more relaxed.

So for those of you who had brothers, did you notice you were raised differently? In what way? Do you think it was deliberate?

And if you have both boys and girls, do you think you raise them differently without realising?