Irrational fear controlling my life :'(

I drop my son off at the supervised school park for school (requested by his teacher) normally only 5 minutes before the bell rings so he just runs around with friends and I sit in the car with my youngest until the bell rings to make sure he's okay, but today we were able to leave a bit earlier and get to the park 10 minutes before the bell, I give him a hug and kiss goodbye and he runs off, while sitting there watching him I see him struggling bad to get on the swing with his big jacket and backpack, all I wanted to do was run over and help him up, but I was so overcome by my fear of being seen without make up all I could do was end up crying I was so overcome with guilt, I felt so incredibly bad, I am a hands on very attentive mother and the fact that I let my irrational yet completely controlling fear stop me from doing what I knew I needed to do killed me inside.

(To clarify my fear stems from having horrible acne for years and now my face literally covered in large purple scars with very fair skin, as well as deep purple undereye circles AND discoloration. I've spent thousands on products and years of dermatologist visits, which cleared 90% of my acne but left me with severe scarring) 

I hate myself for allowing this to control me, I would give anything to be able to be okay with the way I look but it's become so debilitating, caused depression and anxiety, among other things. 

I don't know what to do anymore :'(