I was a child who grew up with my aunt being my mom, how I love her dearly. My biological mother was always in my life but she chose to play an aunty role. 🤷🏾‍♀️ life happens and you parent the best way you can. So I have no I’ll feelings towards her, but I also understand that just because your a parent doesn’t mean your going to be a superhero, you might not ever get it right, you might give up whatever . From her I’ve learned to give grace to parenting. Here I am as a single / co parent. Me and my child’s father have been in each other’s lives for 11 years, we were each other’s first loves 💕 and stayed in contact. However said baby’s father has two other children, I’m not sure of the extent of the relationship but he “takes care of his children”. I’ve never had any expectations of him while going through this process because 1 we weren’t together, 2 i didn’t know the extent to his father hood, 3 for some reason I always felt I would do it alone 🙃 even before I got pregnant. Well jump forward again🤗 my baby was born and it’s still chilling in the NICU(he was sick of my hostile environment) But he’s finally doing great ! He was never at a risk of losing his life but he was a preemie. Mind you baby was planned, he was a complete surprise that neither of us were prepared for but what ever. Me being me, and having my past once he took his breath everything for me changed, I go to the hospital everyday with the exception one personal day a week. My child’s father has yet to see him 🙃 he acknowledges our child, will go to any event for him (being as though he was early , we are still preparing) agreed to future doctor appointments, asks if he needs anything but has not physically seen him! Let me get to the point. I have grace because I know as much as my mother wanted to be a good mother , she didn’t have the capacity nor capability to pursue what she was trying. I don’t fault her for that because you don’t know until you know that maybe your not a great parent. Everyone tells me I make excuses for him because blah blah blah. But if I’m being honest, i rationalize with what he may be going through because I have certain emotions that I have to push past because well They cut him out of my stomach! 🤷🏾‍♀️ so I show up, I’m present , even when it kills me to sit by my baby’s bedside there I am. Am I wrong for giving my child’s father grace? Because let’s be honest this isn’t for the faint of heart, and I’d personally rather someone know they are mentally prepared to be there then to second guess and fail as a parent. No it’s not fair, but what good does it do me to hate my child’s father because he may not be able to be what we need at this moment even though the intent is there. Why jeopardize my child’s relationship because I have my own expectations of how he should act. But in reality you have to meet people where they are. Yes I know I’m in the predicament because I was careless . Help me understand every one else’s perspective