Husband had an emotional affair

I have officially hit rock bottom. I think it took this happening to realize I have no one. My husband left me for his coworker. We were married, it would have been 7 years next month.

I am not a very nice person. I say things to people and hurt people for my own amusement. I have cheated on my husband many times and gave us both trich. I cheated with one of my friends boyfriends. Like I said I'm not a very good person. I've stolen money from my family. None of my family talks to to me at all. I have no friends. The only person I ever had was my husband. I was a shit wife. I called him worthless any chance I got. I've told him he only has me and no one will ever love him. He started harming himself and I called him an attention seeker. How my mind works and I need people to feel small so I have power. I didn't realize that until he left me. He got a female coworker and they got really close. He went out to lunch with her, talked to her all the time. Started spending less time at the house and more time with her. I didn't know je was with her though. He sat me down last Tuesday night and told me he had fallen in love with another women. He promised me they didn't sleep together, but being with her he realized how a relationship is supposed to be. What we have is toxic and abusive and he doesn't want that anymore. I got mad. I got violent. Neighbors called the police. Long story short he is with her now. I've had time to think and it's come to me that nobody likes me. I managed to drive everyone in my life away from me. I ruined so many relationships with people. Nobody at my job likes me. I have no family and no friends I can turn to. I am blocked on most of my families Facebook. I fucked my family over in so many different ways. I'm sitting here alone at rock bottom. I have never understood what it felt like to be lonely until now. I drove people away and now I'm alone...