My mother is manipulative.

I’m a 20 year old female. I live with my mother, step-father, step-brother and two biological brothers. My brothers are 23, 19 and 18.

Here’s a little backstory for more info:

My mother remarried 7 years ago, and we moved across the country 6 years ago. I see my biological father, once a year. 5 years ago, we moved into a new house and within 2 months, my step sister, her girlfriend and two children moved in with us. 10 people, living in a 3 bedroom house. My step-sister and older brother were both drug addicts. My parents did absolutely nothing about it, which in turn, ended up with me becoming a mother figure to my nephews and younger brothers. I got diagnosed with panic disorder and depression. My older brother was extremely abusive to me and my younger brother. We called the cops multiple times but nothing happened because we were minors and my parents would defend him. Finally, I had enough and moved to my dads, 1,000 miles away. After, my mom would call me all of the time and cry to me, saying she wished I was there. Then, she made a promise that I could graduate (I fell behind in school) if I moved back and did all of the extra credit. So, I moved back for my senior year so I could be with my friends. I found out that I actually wouldn’t be able to graduate and I dropped out so I could get my GED. We moved into a new house, and my step sister moved out.

Fast forward to now:

It’s been nearly 3 years since we moved and things did get a lot better without so many people. My mother hasn’t changed though. I was forced to get my GED, despite having horrible anxiety. I was constantly being told I need to be enrolled in school and have a job. Even when I was working, she would still be telling me I need to go to school, despite me telling her I wanted to save first. She just said “well there’s no way to avoid student debt.” Meanwhile, all of my brothers NEVER had to get jobs. They don’t get pushed to enroll in school and don’t get yelled at for not having jobs. I am constantly picking up after, now, adult boys and nothing ever gets said to them. I’m so tired of being treated differently. I constantly have to pay for gas and different things, with nothing in return, for a car that’s not even mine. If I even remotely bring up anything about my brother’s or how I don’t want to deal with their messes, I’m told I’m wrong. I get sent to my room for telling my brothers to start acting like adults. My mother constantly says she’s such a bad mother and tries to manipulate me so often.

I don’t know. I’m so depressed about my situation. It’s hard to be treated so differently when you’re trying to do all of the right things. Nothing I do is good enough. It’s like, I love my mom and want to have that relationship but it’s so impossible when she does what she does.