Thinking out loud

Over the past few years being on dating apps, I've always come across or virtually bumped into I guess you could say, guys who I used to date or like or even just talk to. Literally almost anyone who made an impact (i.e went out with or really liked) I've matched them on tinder or they've popped up again just to say hey and we have a little catch up (there's not been many but a few). The weird thing is the one guy who I really really fell for, I haven't spoken to him or seen him since the night we broke up. Not saying I want to or anything it's just weird how out of everyone he's the one who stays off my radar completely (we're not on each others socials). We left it amicably and I really hope that he's found true happiness. Before I knew him he had a really troubled teenage life with drugs and bad influences but he had a kind heart and a good soul. We just weren't meant to be. I just really hope that for him, he made more of an impact on my life than either of us realised because if it weren't for him and I breaking up I never would've pushed myself to be more and develop myself so that'll always mean something deep down. He was my first boyfriend and ultimately first love so I think that'll always stay with me. 💔