Pray for me please

I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me based on this post but I’m struggling terribly right now and hoping for your prayers or good energy sent my way. I don’t regret my decision to get an abortion as I genuinely am not ready or financially in the position to have another child (mother to a 4 year old). I am angry with myself for getting in this situation. I haven’t been on birth control because it makes me sick, I’ve just been tracking my periods as I don’t regularly have sex anyway but I got drunk on Halloween with a friend and here I am. I accept responsibility but I am also so very upset with myself. I have one friend I’ve told because she has had an abortion before but she lives far away and I told my mom because she has also had one and I thought she could be emotional support... not really, I can sense the disappointment. Anyone else would judge me. The father doesn’t know because he would judge me too. I am feeling so alone and physically terrible.. idk if I’ve ever felt worse. I had to beg my mom to loan me the money for the abortion on Wednesday. Please just leave me some words of encouragement. Thank you.