Dear Ricey,

First and foremost, I already love you because I knew you would love me with all of my broken pieces with all of my imperfections. Second, I’m so sorry for making such a huge decision about your life before you could even breathe, before you could have a heart to love me, before you could have a choice yourself. I robbed you of that. I took away your life, a life you didn’t ask for.

You never had the chance to grow bigger than a grain of rice and will never get the chance to even understand this letter, but this letter is not for you, it’s for me. Its for me to understand that I’ve gotten attached & that today is going to be hard for me. It’s for me to help me forgive myself for not letting you grow enough to love me. This letter is only about the both of us. We would rule the world and take it by force, but It would’ve been a struggle. And when I say struggle I mean a huge struggle, but that doesn’t mean that you life is worth any less.

Today is my only day with you. I only knew about you for about 4 days until I took your precious and innocent life. I wanna hold you and tell you how sad I am about this decision that I’ve made for the both of us, but I’m your mom & I should know what’s best for the both of us, but one thing about your mom she loves so hard & she only wants your love, even though she wouldn’t be able to feed or take care of you like you deserve. It’ll just be us and the love that we have for each other, and although it holds a lot of weight, it’s just not strong enough to get us both by. You deserve the world.

I’m not throwing you away, I’m simply giving you back to God and your nana to take care of you better than I can right now. I will always love and pray for you. You have my whole heart and no one can take that away from you. Kiss your nana in heaven for me, and tell her I’m sorry. Go do great things & watch over me, my angel. Ricey.

Love,

Your mom