Red flags??

Question

So back in July I found out that my boyfriend had been watching porn when I told him that I felt uncomfortable with him watching it when I’m an option. He told me that he would stop and that he was sorry for lying to me about it. Come November, I find out that he has been looking at explicit photos and videos again even though ever since July, I’ve constantly brought up the situation because my confidence severely dropped and my mind would still go back to it. His reasoning for the fact that he disregarded my feelings was that he just wasn’t thinking and that he needed to get rid of the urge, even though, once again, I’m right there for him. He lied about lying in November and my trust with him is completely diminished because the whole time that I was talking to him about it and explaining my feelings, telling him how much it hurts me that he lied and watched porn behind my back, he was doing it anyway. I know it may sound stupid to some people that I’m getting so butt hurt over porn but it makes me feel like he isn’t attracted to me, doesn’t listen to or care about how I feel, and doesn’t even care about our relationship if he’s willing to break my trust so easily. Do I continue with this relationship or should I stop before he breaks my heart again?

Answer

I mean I personally don’t see an issue with your SO watching porn, it’s normal and he shouldn’t have to stop. 
I watch porn and still have sex with my husband and just because I’m watching porn doesn’t mean I don’t find my husband attractive or I don’t want him it’s just a faster way to get off for me. But if it’s bothers you this much then maybe you should have one more chat with him and if you both can’t come to a reasoning then maybe you should find someone with the same view on porn as you.

Answer

Break up, you can’t make someone stop doing something they don’t see a problem with. Moving forward make sure you find a SO who shares the same views as you about porn. Your bf doesn’t respect how you feel and has been lying to you - you deserve better.

Answer

My ex husband was an addict. It started with watching it a couple times a week to multiple hours a day. He'd be late for work, almost lost his job, wrecked a truck trying to watch it and drive, I to begged him to stop because I felt the same way and had even developed a eating disorder from lack of self esteem, thinking it was my fault. He wouldn't stop regardless of seeing how it was hurting me. It eventually escalated into him cheating and then picking up prostitutes when the porn was no longer enough. That's when I told him I couldn't control what he does but I have every right not to accept what he was doing and we would be better off finding someone who shared the same opinion/values as ourselves. Needless to say after 12 years I filed for divorce and am now married to a man that has no interest in pornography and devotes all his attention to me. Not everyone or couple has the same opinion. Some are okay with it while it destroys others. It depends mainly on how YOU feel. If it's hurting you then I can tell you now, move on.

Answer

I left my ex husband for watching porn
He was addicted before we met and constantly bashed me for my looks (ive had 2 kids and have stretch marks) so he’d comment on that... then he started watching it again.. the moment I caught him I packed my bags and walked out lol

Answer

I went through a similar problem but when I confronted about the lying he understood how much it had hurt me that he had lied to me more then once. If he truly cares for you he will try his hardest to stop.  If you don't think he can it might be best to go ahead and end it. He feels differently and if he said he wouldn't and still did then maybe try another time but if he keeps lying that's a no. Have you tried watching it together? I know it sounds weird but sometimes it makes you slightly more okay with it.

Answer

I understand being upset about him going behind your back about it, but also try to understand his needs. Do you still masturbate? If you do, just know this is what he does to turn himself on for HIM to get off. Maybe it’s not your preferred way to get turned on but IMO it’s the same as reading a book filled with sexual writing. 
Also, if it makes you feel better for confidence, I watch porn and a lot and I never even look at the way those people look physically. I am not attracted to those people, its the act. It’s what they are doing that turns me on. So don’t let your self esteem get low because of it, he’s likely just turned on by the ACT of what he’s watching. Not who is doing it. And when I watch porn it’s imagining my boyfriend doing it. So try not to let that aspect of it get you down.

Answer

Don’t make him feel bad for having needs. Just leave him.

Answer

Because men are selfish wankers babe 😊

Answer

You can tell him how you feel about him doing it then he can decide if he wants to continue or not. That’s his right. It’s the fact he lied about it is what I’d be kinda upset about. If that’s not something you feel that should happen then break up and find someone who has the same feelings about it. Honestly he probably continued because you feeling upset about it is irrational. Did you notice a difference in your sex life between July and September when he was watching it? If it’s not actually making a difference in your sex life it’s not really something you should be upset about. He knows there’s nothing wrong with it and and probably just kept it from you because you’d get unnecessarily upset. Again if porn isn’t something you want in a relationship break up and find someone who agrees with the no porn. Also masturbation is healthy and even if you are in a relationship it’s still something you should do. What he chooses to watch and do with his body is his choice and you can talk to him about how you feel about it but you shouldn’t automatically think that means he’ll stop.

Red flags??

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