Don't care anymore 😔

So its almost 2 years ttc. We started feb 2019, and in August 2020 we were going to have tests done (check if I'm ovulating, check his sperm quality) I got the prescriptions and all we needed to do was go. But hub got discouraged or something and we never went before he changed jobs, so we didn't have insurance anymore. Then he changed jobs again 3 months later so we are waiting for insurance again. But to be honest. I just don't care anymore. Im a little overweight so I bet I dont ovulate because with my first baby I got pregnant the second I was at a healthy weight. Losing is super hard now as I feel super depressed and don't even want to get out of bed anymore let alone start a healthy routine. I get sad from all the negative tests I get and watch my family get theirs and then have a baby. Im happy for them yes, but just depressed that I can't join them. I just feel like I'm im this by myself and am isolated from everything. I've just stopped caring and stopped trying. 😔

I get one day it will happen but its not going to be soon since there's alot more to it