Advice? 😞

How do i make friends? How do i get out there and start living life? I feel like ive been down for so long and now i want to get a jon and make friends and most importantly LIVE.

But all this is stopped by fear and anxiety. Sometimes i feel like i want to live, my chest hurts because i can feel thats what my soul wants, but other times i feel like life isnt worth living.

Ive been going thru so much these past couple months and i feel like all my life ive had these bad things happen to me, like i was dealt with the bad and pushed thru it. But not my life isnt in control, i am. I just feel like i dont know how to live it.

Im just afraid to start living because i have these insecurities and this fear and anxiety in me.

All also i have no friends. I don't know how to make any. Or even keep them. Its just scary to face life alone, how do i even find the good?

Ugh im sorry im all over the place but if you can somehow relate or went thru this, can you help me? Genuinely.

I know we're in the middle of a pandemic but im losing my mind. Im not saying i have to get out there and party but how do i connect with people other than online? How do i become a good friend?

Just help. Please.

I dont need a lecture, i dont need remarks. I judy need genuine guidance.