Hard time 😩

I’m having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut from my close family and friends. They want to hang out but I’m so scared of COVID at the moment and due to my 4 previous miscarriages I do not want to tell anyone just yet. I don’t want to lie to them but it’s my cousins birthday and I don’t want her to think I don’t care 😫😫😩😩. I usually tell them everything but I’m just so worried things won’t go right.

Any ideas on if I should tell or just leave it ??