My fiancé crashed my mums car!!

Today my fiancé had a car accident. He took my mother’s car and drove it without a driving license. I know this is very irresponsible (he was in the middle of making it but COVID, and he couldn’t book a practical exam)

He slipped when he was turning, there was no lights, it was dark & it’s was raining, he totally crashed the car from both sides, turned 360 hitting 2 barriers. I am so pissed at him I can barely stop crying, my hormones aren’t helping (I’m 26w pregnant)

Before he got home I was so mad at him that he could do such an irresponsible thing, and I’m still mad but when I saw his face, swollen and bleeding, our toddler got scared of him. he couldn’t walk properly because he injured his leg I just wanted to hug him and tell him that everything is going to be ok. But I’m also still so mad I wanna slap these stupid ideas out of his head!

What do I do ? I can’t sleep. My anxiety is going through the roof. He was taken to the hospital by an ambulance but they let him go because he was aware and didn’t seem to have any major injuries. But my brain is telling me “what if he needed to get checked out? what if he doesn’t wake up in the morning? what if he gets some internal beeping? ”what can I do with this. It’s easy to say, don’t worry it will be fine, his face & leg will heal. but my brain doesn’t work like that. I’m over thinking, over reacting. I can’t stop it.

I really really want him to understand that I am hurt, that I’ve told him so many times not to drive on his own until he has a driving license. It’s not that his is just learning to drive because before we got together he drove all the time without a driving license so he knows how a car works. He doesn’t listen to me when I warn him that things can happen, I know sometimes it’s my anxiety talking but it does that for a reason, because I know what the consequences can be from doing things like this. And you can imagine how mad my mum is right now, that’s also not helping, I feel like I’m the one to blame, yet I wasn’t even in the car 😫

I want to be mad and show him that what he did was wrong and that he should have listened to me in the first place. I keep blaming myself for it because “maybe I should have need clearer” but I also want to sit next to him and watch him sleep to make sure nothing is happening to him & show him that I still love him even though I’m mad.

I’m sorry you had to read all of this. I feel like I needed to get this out of my system but I have no one to talk to because my anxiety makes me push people away 😢