My bf is manipulating me, time to break up?

*Edit at bottom*

Basically me and my bf have been dating for almost 3 yrs, and we are in college atm (20 and 21 yrs old). I have been thinking about breaking up with him for a while now, because of a multitude of reasons, but with the biggest reasons being his insecurity. It stems from being insecure about a male gyno, to controlling my clothes because of male attention I got, as well as to my career. He and I are in the same major, and ig he thinks I chose it because of him. While he did inspire me to choose it, I stuck with it because I enjoy it and genuinely want to pursue a career in that major. For the past 2 years I've been telling him this, I've gotten internships and have worked towards getting my degree in this major, and yet he still thinks I don't want to do it.

I've literally told him this is what I want to do and he still says "it seems like you're not into this" or "since you're not serious about this...". I feel like he refuses to believe me because he doesn't want to believe it. Like it seems crazy, but I can't think of any other reason for him to straight up deny that this is what I want to do when I've told him directly this is what I want. I feel like a child that is being talked over by their parents. And honestly, after two years, why doesnt he believe me? Would he do the same if I got raped or hurt? Just not believe me for years until it fits his idea of what he wants to believe?

I feel like he is afraid I'll do "better" than him in our field, and therefore wants to make me change my major so he isn't competing with me. He has put me down for my grades and made me feel dumb, and has even told me this major is too "tough" for me. I asked, "oh so you think I'm dumb?" He said "no it's just tough", like what???

For reference I'm a very smart and driven person, worked my butt off to get into our college, so it's not like I offhandedly chose this major just because of him. I got a very high ACT (higher than his), so it hurts me that he thinks I'm not good enough when he could just encourage me instead. I feel like he's sabotaging me and manipulating me.

This could be why he doesn't take accountability for his actions or apologizes either, since he doesn't ever think he did something wrong. I'm usually the one to bring up issues and apologize first. I say this just because there's more issues than I wrote here, but these are the biggest things that are scaring me and making me feel like he won't change unless he grows by himself without access to me.

To address the controlling parts I mentioned, he doesn't control my clothes anymore, and he also doesn't control my gyno visits, although he's still upset that I chose a male. In fact, he did the same thing with the gyno as my career. He kept telling me he wasn't ok with it because "I wouldn't be comfortable", even though I told him I would be fine. He still thinks I won't be comfortable, I honestly think it's some weird manipulation tactic to get me to doubt myself and make me think I'll be uncomfortable so I'll change my mind. For a few years he told me to lie to the gyno about my sexual activity, that way they wouldn't do the actual exam - and this was when I had a female gyno too. So it clearly isn't just the fact that's it's now a guy, although that adds to it. He just doesn't want someone near my vagina ig, which I find extremely odd because it wouldnt matter unless he was that insecure. I put my foot down, but I'm still bothered because he's still upset about it.

I just feel disrespected, not taken seriously, and honestly manipulated...and all because he's insecure and can't handle just letting me live. I don't want to marry a man who has to compete or sabotage me just because he feels threatened, and I don't want a man who doesn't take me seriously either.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Am I wrong for wanting a breakup? I mean maybe he isn't trying to do this to me but after trying to talk about this for months I feel like he should at least be trying to fix his behavior, but he does some of the things I mentioned above. (Doubting myself because he has made me doubt myself a lot, and because I have a fear of making an irreparable mistake) ik the decision is mine in the end but some advice would be awesome. Thank you in advance 😊

Edit: yes for those who are asking, I was sexually active since I was 18, and should've been getting yearly exams because of that, but my bf was so I comfortable with *me* getting the exam he asked me to lie to push off the exam until I turn 21, when it becomes normal to get the exam whether you're sexually active or not. Since I was 18 I had a female gyno, who I saw for birth control, but her being female didn't change that he didn't want me to have the exam. Now that I've switched to a male, and will have my first exam with a male, my bf is upset that I'm not considering his feelings. I see now how weird it is for him to want me to lie and not get the exam, regardless of who my doctor is. Ik some guys are insecure about the gender of the doctor, but not wanting me to get the exam at all no matter what, is another level of weird and I can't believe I went with it. Thank you guys for helping me realize that!