Shame after sexual coercion

TW: explicit, SA

I went on a date and during I had friend-zoned the guy while on the date. I told him I’m getting friend vibes, we went to my room to hang out and I told him I don’t want to have sex but I’m okay with doing other things. I gave him head and took my pants off thinking he would return the favor. He fingered me while I sucked him, then he started pushing my ass towards him and saying let me put it in. I shook my head said no and kept sucking, he kept asking and I eventually gave in. I was dry because I wasn’t aroused at all so we had to change the condom multiple times, I even brought out lube just so he can finish quicker and leave.

After I texted him saying when someone says they don’t want to have sex listen the first time. He responded saying “I knew what I was doing and I’m just mad that I didn’t stick to my own boundaries.” He said “why would you bring out multiple conforms and lube if you didn’t want it?”

I feel ashamed because I’m new to setting boundaries the fact that I could even vocally say no was big for me I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life. But now I feel weak because I couldn’t keep saying no and eventually gave in. I didn’t want to have sex with him and my body feels violated but it’s my own fault for not continuing to say no or even just not going to my room or not giving him head. I should’ve just asked him to leave and I’m so disappointed with myself and disgusted.