Saving marriage

So my marriage kinda sucks. He sometimes says very cruel things and I’ve always made the kids a priority, over him so, there’s blame to be shared. I can’t live the rest of my life like this but I also don’t know where to begin repairing it. One thing that I want to start with is bringing sex back into the marriage - it’s been gone for a while.

I’ve never been very forward, he’s always been the one to initiate. Well after life changes and 2 kids, I’ve gained a lot of weight (working on that) so I’m sure he’s not physically attracted to me and I have a lot of confidence issues so, where do I begin?

I thought about buying some lingerie but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable enough to put it on and we work opposite schedules so timing is also a struggle. Plus, our kids literally don’t sleep. The 1 year old is up 3 times before midnight usually.