So my fiancé and I are young, I’m 20 he’s 19. We have 2 absolutely beautiful girls age 1 and and our youngest 3 months! I love this guy, we’ve definitely had our ups and downs but I mean he’s the father of my kids amd we do make each other laugh! There’s some things that make me question him and his ability to grow up faster! I myself am trying to make the absolute BEST life for my children, I am getting into real estate and am doing great! He works also and hasn’t been getting hours lately but he definitely still gets to provide as best as possible and he is a good dad! There’s some issues I’m having..

One I feel as tho I have become less attracted to him I don’t mean to sound mean but his hygiene isn’t the best and he knows this as I’m a very blunt person haha and so is he!

I feel bad tho because he looks at me like I’m a queen and loves my body even tho I had baby’s so I feel kinda guilty not being as atttracted to him as when we met now that he has poor hygiene and has gained over 100 pounds (I’m big too tho so weight isn’t the huge issue)

Any little talk turns into a argument because we are both very loud and have big personalities,

But I try to do everything I get the girls ready I try to work I try to do all house stuff and All I want is him to help me out also! The way I grew up is my mom was a stay at home mom my father worked even after my dad would come home he still would help my mom by taking the trash out and just being there for her so she could keep the house nice and everything!! I can’t get my fiancé to do ANYTHING with out me bawling!!! He will leave our dogs poop just out and he’ll walk right past it or let the dishes get all gross and moldy to wear I’m crying cause I’m stressed doing everything before he’ll even try to help or it takes me threatening to leave him to step up and he’ll change for like a week then boom right back to how he is

The issue is I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HIS FAM he knows how I’m feeling and so do they all his mom even told me that if I half to leave she definitely will still support and love me! 

I’m also super scared because I’ve ALWAYS had my kids 24,7 it scares me to think about us sharing them and then not having them some days!! Like I’m so scared about that

Also financial like he’s sorta supporting us I’d definitely half to move back with my parents and everything but they are also super sweet and supportive I’m just stressed.

I also have a guy BEST friend who’s been here for me for about 6 years now and he’s so attractive and cute and sometimes I just have thoughts about leaving my fiancé to be with him he knows about all this also and my fiancé always jokes that “he’s my second boyfriend” but I’m not sure what to do!

I do love him but I want him to step up get off the STUPID video games and help me!! Even after work like I’m sorry but he chose to have baby’s so I get he’s tired but come on so am I!!

My other thing is he keeps telling me “before I met you I thought I was gay” his dad is also gay but In the closet and has a wife even tho he’s attracted to men! Which I don’t discriminate against but that statement is concerning

Last thing is he’s scared of everything! I’m definitely like the man of the house we had a shooting out side our house and he didn’t even grab the kids he went and cried in the hallway.. he is just not manly what so ever! He tries to be but he’s not at all! We grew up a lot different so 🤷‍♀️

We also both have some mental health issues I have major anxiety and depression and also ocd but I have mine very very under control and feel great. Him on the other hand was so stressed when our second was born he started hallucinating and seeing people he had to go to the hospital get on meds and everything (that he’s now off of) but it’s like it’s hard to manage his and mine cause he doesn’t understand his mental health and I do (that’s another thing I fear to leave him because I don’t want him going off the deep end ya know?)

He also had minor anger issues and will litterly freak out if his good order is wrong we get in fights all the time over fcken food!!!!

Bottom line I need him to grow up and be a man and dad but I also don’t want to be sooo hard on him I just really needed to get alll this out so thank you if you read till the end!! Any advice is appreciated?