This might be a long one ladies but PLEASE bear with me hah. Okay so I met this guy around early October of 2019, and we hang out for the first time right, & just so happened he was moving in with some friends into a house just down the street from my friend's house. So he moves into this house, & I was always at my friend's so we went over one night & from then on i was sleeping at his house largely more than my own lol. Anyway, 3 months into us seeing eachother VERY regularly, for like a week he started acting weird, not texting me as much as he had & whatever. So I get a text at the end of the week from him saying he knows he's been distant & blah blah & long story short that he thought he should tell me he WASN'T LOOKING FOR ANYTHING SERIOUS cause him & his ex of 2 years had just broken up & that he was just looking for some new people to have good times with cause he'd been in long term relationship one after the other since he was 15 (he was 23 when I met him). Okay so I'm thinking uhhh we've been fucking & seeing eachother for almost 3 months, not to mention he definitely wasn't holding back on the public affection around our friend's, but also like okay this dude has some issues(from relationships, we all do but you know what i mean). But at this point I was like I'm too far in now to call it quits lmaooo Nah but like I really liked this guy & I could just tell there was something with us ya know? Cheesy I know but this comes in later, like I said pls bear with me lol. Sooo I'm like yeahhh totally cool, we're just chilling for funsy or whatevs... Turns out later I find out he was acting all distant that time because he was *gasp* catching feels. And ya know I get it, like having multiple longterm relationships that all ended, & ended badly at that, can kinda fuck a person up. But anyway we still hung out, even more than before, still sleeping at his house 4 out of 7 nights of the weeks, etc, etc. Thought I'd also just mention that it didn't matter WHERE we were, he would still be all touchy in public or around our friend's, plus NOW he would do things(help me out, get me things, etc) that were clearly things not meant for OUR relationship (whatever that was/is). And there were actually a few times where he would say things that made it seem like I couldn't or shouldn't be sleeping with anyone else if I wanted to (for example: one time he said "This guy came up to my brother at a party once and said he fucked his girlfriend before theywere together & my brother didn't do anything, if someone said that about you(referring to me) to me, I'd punch him in the face" or something along those lines lmao, but yeah so ???). Anyway fast forward to summer 2020. We had had a few conversations over the months about what we were kinda but it was all still "established" that we weren't dating cause he still didn't want a relationship. All the while he continued to basically treat me like his girlfriend. Some stuff went down during the summer that I'm not going to get into but basically we went through A LOT together, but we knew at the end of summer 2020 I was moving about 5 hours away. Once I moved in August (to where I live now) he started this paid internship a couple months later that he'd been wanting for awhile. The job requires a lot of traveling so he flies in & out of the airport in the city I live in (the town I came from was tiny, no big airports). So basically he comes & sees me/stays with me whenever he's in my city. Just the other day he was saying he's been thinking about moving to/near my city but since rent is expensive it'd be better to have a roommate. He's not wrong but like can you see how that's sort of suggestive?lol I know this sounds like we both just need to get our shit together & talk about wtf we are especially since this has been going on for a YEAR & A HALF, but like we've had these conversations & we always just end up back where we were: seeing eachother, acting like he does with me, but not dating. So I guess what I'm asking is: Did I just waste a year & a half of my life on a guy whose never gonna actually commit? And like I still am? Or should I keep seeing where the fuck this is going cause this might really be something? I know he is really a good guy & as of right now it genuinely seems like he WANTS me wants me, but I don't know if he'll ever make THAT move cause he's made it abundantly clear in the past that he doesn't

want a relationship. Sorry for the BOOK I just wrote. I've just been needing some outside opinions!!