Not sure.

To start off I’m 20 y/o and have been with my “high-school sweetheart” for 5 years. He will be 22 in July.

We, as a couple, have our differences and disagreements however they always end in him pushing me down because of how upset I make him. Last night, we had an altercation. I wanted him to spend time with me however he wanted to be left alone to play video games and decompress. He is a hard worker and only has his own time after he’s off for the night and weekends which we spend together. I just don’t feel as if 2 days is enough time at least it isn’t for me. I guess I am selfish for wanting more time when I know he’d rather be doing something he enjoys. Mind you, we have the same situation arise every weekend. So at this point he’s very unhappy and he has pushed me down. He starts saying hateful things which he always does when he’s mad at me and he admits every time it’s just so he can hurt me in the moment. He then proceeds to tell me, “this is the worst Sunday I’ve ever had.” So I got up and grabbed his ps4 controller in his hands and asked, “then why are you playing?” He immediately pinned me down screaming at me to never do that again. I grabbed my water bottle and threw it at him in the process. He then started choking me. He has never done that before. After I could breathe I started balling my eyes out and his response was, “yeah sit over there and cry.” And resumed his game.

After he got off a couple hours later, he did apologize. I asked him if he even wanted to be with me and he told me he could never live without me. I feel as if this could have been prevented if I just would have let him play video games.

I also tend to think, well I’m not showing any “signs” of physical abuse so it’s nothing like real survivors go through.

My neck is sore luckily with no bruises.

Any insights would be deeply appreciated.