Marriage Issues

Hello ladies. I joined this group because I thought it was a support group for men and woman. We have recently had our first born baby girl who is now 4 months. Wife and I are both work opposite schedules but still need a baby sitter in between. We are having issues with the babysitter and she texted us all of her issues. I was at work my wife was home she called me talking to me about it and I told her just send me the response first so I can see what needs to be changed. My wife sent it to me then while I was reading sent it to the babysitter in our group message. I told her this was not ok and she did not even apologize to the babysitter for how she was feeling initially. I felt like that was the first thing she should have done to show that we are sorry for how she is feeling. I also told my wife not to go back and forth with the babysitter and again she did not listen to me and went back and forth with her for days. Then to make matters worse about two days later she told me what I could tell the babysitter because of what she was saying and my wife told me this is what I could do but didn’t have to. Then two minutes later she took my phone and sent the babysitter a message in the group message involving me in all the back and forth and negativity. I want to know if all of this is ok ? I’ve approached her about all of it but she is a mom I get that but where do we draw the line ?