Need advise

Hey ladies!

I don’t even really know where to start.

My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years. I had a daughter when I met him, everything was good until he started to feel threatened by our relationship. He decided 6 years ago that he wasn’t going to pay much attention to her because she was the center of my attention and he didn’t like that. Should’ve left. But I didn’t. We almost didn’t get married because of this but the marriage counselor decided to convince us we’re just had cold feet.

It wasn’t too long after we got married that he completely flipped. Started being super naggy and irritated by my daughter and I. He had a certain idea of what a wife should and shouldn’t do, as the husband does nothing basically but play the video game and eat. And I didn’t fit that mold. My daughter got too many gifts on our first Christmas in our new house so he got mad and locked himself in our spare room for months after Christmas.

Sex has always been only when he wants it. Which was usually once a week. Now we don’t have sex anymore at all

I had some miscarriages which required surgery removal, he took me over to my grandmas house to heal and so that she could help me after these surgeries. He didn’t even check on me.

We have two sons together now and he makes sure that I know that I don’t raise them “right” he doesn’t help me with anything concerning the kids. If I get sick, I have to call someone to come over to help me cook and clean and take care of my kids because he will not help!!

For years he’s made me feel like I’m not a good enough wife, not a good enough mother, just not good enough for him at all.

It’s literally too much to even type. Long story short. Our marriage is on its last leg. When we talk, he gaslights. He always has but I never knew the exact term until recently. I don’t even know if I want to go through marriage counseling. All the years of name calling, unconcern, no love, selfishness, childishness has took such a toll on me. Can anyone relate?

How do I move past these feelings of failing my children by failing my marriage? How do I accept the possibility that leaving my husband means my time with our kids will be split in half? So that I can finally get away from him