HSV-1/ Cold Sores

I grew up hearing “if you ever had a cold sore you have herpes.” I thought it was a weird joke in middle school/ high school!

Until one day in middle school I think I had a really bad breakout near my mouth. Like REALLY BAD so much so I hid the breakout behind my hair and my mom even took me to a doctor and I had to apply some ointment to it. Never was told it was HSV-1 or herpes I thought it was a bad regular pimple outbreak.

I’m saying all that because I just found out I have HSV-1 which are cold sores but also herpes....but back then in middle school I didn’t have a boyfriend at all and wasn’t having oral or sex at all! So idk how I could have gotten it back then....but I just found out I had it after breaking up with my last bf...and he had been with 10+ women...maybe I got it from him???

If I got it back as a child then how did I not give it to my first bf? I never had an outbreak like I did as a kid since then like ever....so idk if I even had it. It was a bad breakout like that, that once!

idk how to feel and how this now affects my life. Is my life over? Can I date? My doctor says it’s not a huge deal just don’t kiss, share items I’m using with my mouth or perform oral sex during a breakout but I’m so anxious about everything I’d be terrified to do anything even without a breakout.....

Is this a huge deal? Is it really that common? Do I have to disclose this to every potential partner, family or friend even if I’m not having a breakout? I’m just SO confused and feel embarrassed...I’ve only had two partners in life and don’t get around much at all.

Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions!