I dunno but it’s very intense. Am I.. preggo

Warning: very sensitive topic

Childhood abuse/domestic violence

I am sorry I am writing on this post with very intense migraine with massive headache and eye balls pain and burning depends on how bright it is. Peace at dark but sun is out and it’s triggers massive headache.

So anyways I am experiencing weird series of symptoms. I know a lot of you don’t know to explain this because you never felt anything like it.

For me I just noticed abs pain… it felt like I did recently a workout.

For some strange reason it gave a dead away signal that I am pregnant. I just know type.

My hubby keep saying I am not but… I am dead serious I just know.

It’s only been two days

Since that day I “just know” I had been feeling this unique sensation of nausea, pain, slight abs pushing with the pain of “abs workout” towards out into space instead of towards of your stomach.

This nausea pain is quite familiar to me because I had this pain due to childhood abuse… and it also triggers a massive PTSD episodes each other days. But helped me process better with the support. I made sense to a lot of things such as cravings heightened sense of taste, emotions, weed smells like wet dumpster fire (yuck).

The cravings are used to bring relief to abs pain, to sooth the internal stretching abs.

The piss part- omg bathroom trips 30 minutes apart. It’s the urge to pee is the organ pushing your bladder to pee and it’s painful!

Itchy vagina/skin

My vagina been so itchy lately so is my belly and my boobs and arm pits. My hubby thinks it has to do with the dust. (Arizona) but I just took a shower! So I was considering a certain lotion for this specific thing but I was pretty sure I am pregnant. I had to get that. My hubby rolls his eyes knowing I am not pregnant. (It’s all due to his ED issues, I learned folic acid said to be helped, he doesn’t believe it’s working although we been trying for a year) so I finally try that lotion.

BIG ✨relieve✨

Emotional outburst-

For me two separate issues for one thing

Ptsd and very new pain I never felt before!

PTSD- reliving the memories of childhood was terrifying experience, emotional stress to the extreme.

Also this type of nauseous feeling is not the same as

Flu

Food poisoning

Or whatever

It’s the pain you are feeling now it’s so painful that cause emotional outburst all due to pain in the abs muscles are stretching that cause the pain so intense that makes you feel so nauseous and puking aka morning sickness. It eventually makes you feel so nauseously fat.

Then I noticed there are TWO sensation of feeling so fat.

The actual fat is all happening just outside of your abs . You can still work out and feel the abs but you just feel the fat moving around under the skin.

This pregnant “fat” is actually feels like abs pushing out you dont feel hungry, or anything. It’s feels like you had a huge thanksgiving diner and you want to unbunkled your pants and yet you feel painfully stuffed. That kind of feeling you are experiencing but it’s gets painful it keep growing each passing day it’s still grows and the skin gets so itchy… lotions saves the day.

While I processed my thoughts of my personal ptsd with childhood. It’s strange how it makes such a huge relief for me to have such lot of unlocked memories processed and bring it to closure. But in the end after I settle down with PTSD… I get the aftermath stress comes with massive headache with migraine. Eyes burning and swollen. Been dizzy a bit more often lately as well.

Am I for sure pregnant? I just know. My period isn’t here until august 14th. I already took one on july 30th it’s negative but this “I just know” happened on august 2nd.

I been trying so hard to become pregnant for a year and half.

My hubby don’t think I am.

Even if I do. I would be so humbly appreciative person to give this little joy a better chance of having better childhood than me.

The joy in that face would always brings me happy tears. Growing up from my childhood was scary. I want to make sure this kid gets bed and a clean blanket. Safe home, supportive when the kid is in help of school work or after school activities. All of that. The sense of family I never had.

This is waaaaaaay too intense for me to handle.