The feeling you get when you get AF

It's so hard to describe this feeling of hurt that it's been 5 months of ttc and I really thought this was the month. I was 13 days late for my period and did it every other day and bfn one after another. I feel it's karma for me because about alittle over a year ago my husband and I had an abortion because we were getting married in 9 months and def weren't ready yet .... I know sounds selfish...I regret it now... I'll just keep praying that God will forgive and let me have the little ones I always dreamed of...