Am I wrong for telling my husbands friends we aren't going if she's going

My husband had this girl he was best friends with since middle school. She never liked me and was NEVER a good friend to him. His own mom and sister didn't like her because she would do things to him just because she was mad at him. She would call him retarded (he has Asperger's and ADHD) or spread rumors about him and he always forgave her. When he started dating me she didn't like me because I wouldn't let her treat him that way. Especially in front of me. She was so mad when he proposed to me. But she threw him a bachelor party. The night after his bachelor party he came to me crying saying he cheated on me and had a threesome with her and a guy. He said he didn't remember it but she said they got really drunk and he woke up naked at her house. I called our whole wedding off and we separated for two months. He spent the time apologizing and everything. She then said she was pregnant. So now she was gonna have his baby. After 2 months of being broken up some random person sends me a voice message a video on Facebook and then blocked me. I played it and it was some girl who wasn't in the video and his best friend. She was talking about her pregnancy and saying how she made sure that wedding wasn't gonna happen. When girl who isn't in the video asked what she meant she said "I slipped him a little something. Thought I would get Evan involved too to make it a threesome. It's more fun that way". So she and another guy raped him. I went to see my husband and showed him the video and he started crying. I told him I was sorry for leaving. I let him cry on me. That same weekend we go married at the court house instead and I'm happy that way. He did confront her and she had nothing to say and she ended up aborting the baby. He's been in therapy for 4 years because of her.

Now his friends decided they weren't going to take sides in the situation. She ended up moving to Missouri. We were all saving up money to go on a trip to Disney . His friend is getting married and are gonna have the wedding next Month in Florida. My husband is a groomsman. His only friend who took his side said they invited HER. That through my husband into an anxiety attack and he had to go to therapy. I called them to ask if it was true and they said yes. I said then we aren't going. No fucking way. His wife got the phone and said "We already booked your hotel room and have it reserved". Plus they have to pay a fee for every guest at the venue and it's none refundable after a certain date and she said if we are gonna fuck up their whole wedding we should pay the money back. I said no and they're fucked up for chosing a rapist over their friend and she said they aren't in their drama and she will invite who she wants. I said she can invite who she wants and we can not show if we don't want to. So now everyone thinks we are terrible because of the money they spent. Am I wrong?

Edit: My husband doesn't want to report her and go through that. At least not rn.. I'm respecting that. He lost his best friend and a child and he just wants to heal

Edit:@Mary I guess I never thought about that. Ig there's a chance it may have not been his baby.