Does my MIL hate me?

Question

I’m probably overreacting but I’ve been with my husband for 2 years now we have a 10 month old & he has a 9 year old from his previous marriage my MIL loves his daughter so much she says it & I can tell by her actions she’ll have her over every weekend and will facetime her almost everyday.. she’s never once asked me if she could have my baby for the weekend or ask about him she’ll text me here & there to send her pictures but that’s it.. I’m kinda hurt because my husband didn’t tell me that his ex was going to throw his daughter a birthday party all he said was that his ex invited my MIL and that she was gonna go.. we obviously didn’t go & I know he didn’t want too because of me…
I feel really bad I feel like she doesn’t love my baby as much as she loves her granddaughter I’ve explained this to my husband and he said I’m overreacting I’ve tried to get along with his daughter for example I told her to bring her school supplies list so that we could get them for her but she later texted my husband and told him “ can you just tell her to give me money cause I really wanna go with mom” I feel left out :(

Answer

if he feels like he can’t go to his daughter’s birthday party because of you i feel like we’re missing something from this sorry.
but, there’s a difference between a nine year old and a ten month old- your MIL probably likes her more because she’s older and there’s more things she can do with her, or maybe she doesn’t want to overstep boundaries with you because your baby is only ten months old, and a lot of parents don’t want their baby spending the night with someone else or being watched by someone else while they’re so young.
it sounds like you need to have a conversation with your MIL, or maybe ask her if she wants to spend more time with your baby.

Answer

Your MIL has had 9 years to get to know his daughter, your baby is only 10 months and while yes we as moms love our babies to death no matter what age, they just don’t have much personality until around 2 years. I would give it time but stop the jealousy, if you continue to be jealous of the love your partners daughter is getting, your son will grow to be the same way.

Answer

Talk to your mother in law. Sometimes people tend to be closer with the older child because the older children can kind of do more obviously. She might feel as if you wouldn’t let your baby go somewhere since most parents don’t like when they leave at a young age. My moms close with my 8 year old but also loves my husband and I’s two week old! But I’m sure your mother in law loves your daughter just the same it’s just something you need to speak to her about

Answer

Not all grandparents are great with babies. It could be simple as that. And stop saying ‘my baby’ because that baby is also your MIL’s grandchild. I also think we’re missing part of the story. Your husband should be able to go to his daughter’s party if his ex is okay with him going. Even if that means you don’t go. 
So talk openly with your husband and then maybe you can both talk to MIL. 
The daughter and school supplies: don’t read too much into that. I get my stepsons school supplies and tried getting him clothes over the years, but it’s clear he prefers his mom to get him clothes. 
I don’t know how long you’ve been together with your husband but your stepdaughter will always know and be closer to her own mom. Try to do fun things with her, not the necessity type of things. She may feel like those things belong to her mom.

Answer

Yep all these comments are right, you can do more with a 9 year old then a 10 month old. She also may think you don't want her having her grandbaby over night, I would ask her if she wants to watch him.

Does my MIL hate me?

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