Broken.

So me and my fiancé have been together almost 8 years. We have a 3 year old. But I have been having some issues.

I have been fighting reoccurring bv, and eurethaplasma infection. I have been on antibiotics on and off for the last year.

It makes sex really painful sometimes.

But my fiancé keeps throwing it in my face, because we don’t have sex like we did before. He’s always saying “we’ll have sex in 4 years” and etc. and it makes me feel really bad about myself, (like I already don’t feel bad enough).

I know that I can’t please him like he’d like.

I have just switched bc, from the bar to the pill.

I’ve only been on it not even a week.

And I noticed my sex drive is slowly coming back. But he won’t just sit down and actually listen to me. I’m so tired of not feeling like I’m enough, let alone feel like I actually am something other than a sex toy. He doesn’t do the little romantic things that he used to.

We haven’t been on a date since the baby was born. He makes me feel like he’s ashamed of me, like I’m not pretty to him. He really doesn’t have anything to do with me if it isn’t sex..

everything turns to sex.

I don’t think I have heard a compliment in years..

It would be really nice, at this point even from a stranger… is that wrong? I know that I don’t have a cute figure anymore but I had a baby..

sex between us isn’t passionate at all anymore

Tbh it’s pretty much about him, he’s no longer taking his time with me or actually focusing on me, it’s like he wants to just cum, there’s no connection from him, he can say “I love you”,

But it’s because he knows it’s what I like to hear during. While he enjoys himself, I just wait for it to be over.😔

I want to be pretty, and sexy, smart, and for him to love and want me, but not because just sex,

But actually for me.

I’m alone all the time, (with or without him home.)

He will come home from work and put headphones in and start drinkin, and then me and the baby don’t exist.

I just want to have an actual nice conversation with someone. I’m lonely. I’m feeling broken.

And unwanted and or appreciated.

What do I do?