Losing my mind over this, please help 😭

Ok so you know how sometimes we have those friends where we’re like “yeah I know they’re a dick, but I love them anyway?” Aight. So basically.

I have this friend. And I am WELL AWARE that he’s kinda douchey. Not to anyone in particular, he’s just got kind of a toxic mentality and approach to sex and relationships. I really enjoy him, he’s funny and intelligent, he’s talented, we have a lot of similar interests, and he’s opened up about his mental health struggles and how he thought it was impacting his current relationship. Well the thing is, I don’t think that’s the problem with his relationship, ‘cause he flirts with EVERYONE.

Like I know at least 3 different girls he’s had “moments” with and I’ve seen him flirt with maybe 7 different people (none of whom are his girlfriend). But also I’m an absolute sucker for anyone who will give me the time of day and I’m on the list of girls he’s flirting with and I’ve totally fallen for it.

He made a comment to me the other day while we were joking around about how he would do anything for me and I was basically swooning. He’s super touchy feely and I’m just a tad bit very much touch starved. I’m well aware he does this with everyone, and I’m fairly certain he’s still with his girlfriend, but I’m pretty sure that if I put myself in a situation with him where there was any chance something might happen, I’d have no control over myself. And beyond that, he’s consuming my every thought when I’m alone. I KNOW this is a bad idea, I KNOW I’m a bad person, and I KNOW he probably doesn’t even like me IN THE FIRST PLACE and I’m wasting my time and energy for NO REASON. But I have put him on such a pedestal for being the first guy in years to give me the time of day and it’s KILLING me.

PLEASE talk some sense into me 😭