I’m so lost

My marriage is falling apart every day. Struggling with the baby thing, struggling with my husband’s alcoholism, struggling with figuring out what could he want out of life. There’s no talking to him, he avoids every subject of fixing us, communication, or even us separating. He reacts in such angry ways. I can’t live like this anymore. Shame on me all these years trying to see beyond the hurt and want to love him when he’s been so unloveable. I can’t ever ask him anything. He blows up. He hides his alcohol in water bottles. He’s embarrassed me in public. People don’t want him around. I’ve suggested therapy, us amicably divorcing and keeping things simple. He goes off the deep end. I can’t do it anymore. He’s already threatened that if I file for a divorce and try to take the house that he will either commit suicide or he’ll set the house on fire. The only proof I have of that is that he said it in front of my mom and she wanted to get the authorities involved. I told her not to. I have his bank statements with how often he buys alcohol or withdraws money in general. I have footage on my phone of him falling around drunk. I’m trying not to get that low if I go to a lawyer but he’s leaving me with no choice at this point. Financially I know it’s going to kill me but the more chances I give him the more he’s making the wrong choice. I don’t think he believes that I’ll leave. Is there anyone who has ever experienced this? If yes how did you maneuver around it. Any input would be great. Peace and love.