How did you know you were gay?

Question

I’ve been feeling very confused about my sexuality for about a year, and I’m too scared to talk to anyone about it because I don’t understand what I’m feeling and don’t want to jump to conclusions. 
I would love to hear the first signs anyone noticed before coming out?
I currently live with my bf of 3 years so this is my safe space to talk about it. I WELCOME ANY ADVICE

Answer

It’s very hard to tell for some people and easier for others. I’m not gay, I’m bi, but I’ve known since I was 9 years old that I liked women along with men. It wasn’t until I was 13 that I “came out” or came to terms with my sexuality. I would notice small things like I would admire women’s features but not just like “She’s pretty,” but more like “I would definitely date her.” I started to envision myself being able to establish a long term relationship with a woman. I started to realize I did not desire girls purely sexually, but also romantically and emotionally. However, my feelings were kind of suspended in mid-air for quite some time. I was with my ex at the time when I came out and originally thought I was gay because society often has a stigma against bisexuality because it wants people to “pick a side” or they are “confused.” So I took some time to myself and established that I just liked women and men equally. I just happened to be with a man. And maybe in the future I would be with a women. Or a man. It wouldn’t matter to me. Now I’m with my current boyfriend. And I know I am still very much bisexual.

How did you know you were gay?

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