Strange question

Okay, I’m really really looking into a vaginal rejuvenation. Something. I feel loose. I know alot of people say you can’t get loose but like.. I’ve had 3 kids. My first child tore me down to my butt. My second child his head got stuck in the vaginal canal for 30 mins!! And my third baby man he had such a big head I sucked it back in as they were trying to pull him out it just hurt so bad. So basically now my sex life sucks!!! My partner won’t admit it but I really know he doesn’t enjoy it as well as it could be! I csnt feel him in most positions, we literally do doggy every single time csuse that’s the only time I feel him! He is able to finish super fast in that position where the others is like he goes on forever it just doesn’t feel good I feel so wide and loose. It makes me so upset. I asked him if I was loose honestly and he told me no, I’m not like virgin tight but I had 3 kids so of course it’s not gonna be tight and idk. Our sex life just sucks. I want to be able to do diff positions and feel confident and sexy but I just don’t feel or enjoy it, and I’m afraid he doesn’t that much either.. it’s so boring and it’s the same Everytime for new a few years. I just feel defeated. I’ve tried buying like tightening serums before ( didn’t work ) I even tried some vaginal tight pills on Amazon ( didn’t work ). I don’t have like the money to go and get it done but I really want to do something!! Does anyone have like recommendation? 😔