OPINIONS PLEASE!!!!!

So I lost my baby 2 years ago due to a horrible medical mistake. Since then, I have no desire or want, to have another or try for one. I completely dodge babies and the topic all together. Do I sound cold? Yeah, sure. Am I trying to be? Absolutely not. I don’t hate them, I just haven’t felt the same about babies, since my own. It’s like a switch went off. *You were robbed of motherhood. Of your child. So just protect yourself from ever feeling the verge of death ever again. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.” So all in all I steered cleared and put a wall up. Since then, I’ve worked on myself. I’ve managed to work pass being silently suicidal and deeply depressed. I got the job I said I would one day get and I’m killing it at that. I got the salary I said I would one day get. I quit smoking cigarettes like I said I would. I got the car I wanted to get. I have been saving money, I’ve traveled, Ive experienced living in a new state and so on so forth. I get up every day, put on makeup, get dressed, make my coffee and out the door to work I go. Every. Single. Day. This is my routine and I am OK with it. I am perfectly smooth sailing and contempt. My wins are still wins. No matter how big or how small. I am happy with myself and all of the progress I’ve managed to unintentionally or intentionally make. But here’s the problem; everyone has been seeming to force baby fever on me ever since my nephew was born. “Don’t you think it’s been long enough for you to try again for a baby?” “Well now we need a girl!” “You should really consider having a baby” “mmm your husband is way older than you, are you sure he’s ok with you not wanting one?” They watch my every move and judge me by my display of affection towards my nephew. In which, I’ve really become exhausted on forcing the relationship between my nephew and I only to appease the people around me. If anything, the pressure has really drawn me away from wanting a child. I am only 23 yrs old and I have worked on myself continuously to be the best version of myself I can possibly be. Why is it that all of these people ignore what I HAVE accomplished, yet they choose to acknowledge what I HAVEN’T done? Can’t living and breathing blissfully be ENOUGH? Being comfortable in your own ways be ok? Why is there always more and more? My question I guess is, sorry if I sound dumb but am I in the wrong? Am I running out of time or something to try for a baby that all these people seem to be pressed about me having a kid? Would it be selfish of me to tell my husband who’s 10 yrs older that I don’t want a kid for a few years more? Am I doing life wrong? Is working on myself or my goals selfish? I just don’t know and I see all of this pressure being placed on me is allowing my depression to creep back in. What should I do?

CLARIFICATION: I’m not suicidal anymore. I was shortly after my traumatic experience of losing my son. I think it’s a motherly thing you go through during grief or loss. You don’t want your kid being alone even if it’s in spirit. But I am NO longer. I am happy and content with life and happy to be here. I just get really sad/guilty and hard on myself when I am trying my best in life, what feels right for me and others seem to focus on what **they** want for me and are mad when told no. 🤷🏼‍♀️