Rap3 or consensual ?

I’ve been with my bf for 4 years, we have lived together for almost 3 years.

I’m 23 and he is 26, we met while I was a senior in high school (at a fast food place we worked at)

When we started to live together I was super sexually the first year we lived together, but now I’m not so much due to my mental illness, when he wants to I say I don’t feel like it and he ask if I still love him or if I’m cheating because I use to be so sexual with him the first year we’ve lived together, I always say yes we can cause I do love him and I don’t want him to feel like I’m cheating when I’m not, we’ve planned our future together and started talking about marriage..

Sorry I’m venting I have no friends unless they are coworkers, he constantly ask if I’m cheating when I don’t feel like being affectionate or if I still love him… I don’t think I do but I feel like I am I’m just really lost with our relationship..

I always feel disgusting after we have sex,even tho I said we can and it does feel good I just wasn’t in the mood or wanted to waste my energy on it.

I feel trapped and don’t know if he is raping me even if I say yes so he doesn’t think I’m losing feelings

Edit - I have explained to him how I feel about it, he tells me I’m cheating or i already got fucked that day etc, when we’re in bed that’s when he starts touching,grabbing me and rubs his 🍆on me and tells me “I know you want me” etc I say yes so it can just be over with so he can stop begging or accusing me of being unfaithful.

I do not plan on getting any cops or anything like that involved