Wedding Bells

My partner and I had been seeing each other for 2 1/2 years when officially started dating (moved in together etc.) in September of 2021 he proposed. I went right to work planning our wedding we agreed on October of 2022, I sat down and had a budget put together, invite list, Pinterest board with the colour scheme I wanted, my parents had gone ahead and called a few venues that we were going to look at, everything was going perfect.

Until it didn’t… his best friend pasted away less than a month after we got engaged, he was depressed and angry and irritable all the time, he won’t sleep in bed at all and he’d lose his shit at the slightest thing. He got really deep into his depression and I was honestly scared I was gonna come home from work and find him dead, he had became so withdrawn and cold I felt like I was living with a stranger, he won’t talk to me about anything he’d bottle it up inside and explode.

At one point he lost his shit for a week straight he wanted a dog and it wasn’t fair that I could have my two cats but that he couldn’t have a dog, in fear of thinking that I could find my partner dead I got him a puppy to change his focus, and I regret it everyday.

Just before Christmas he lost his job, I cancelled our wedding. We have no money to afford a wedding even the modest small one that I had planned, everyday he sends out resumes to various places that are hiring with no luck. My family have been told not to expect a wedding in October and that there hasn’t been a confirmed time frame of when it will be, and this has been known since December but he hasn’t told his family or any of his friends, he keeps talking about the wedding even though there isn’t one and it’s making me furious why can’t you just grow up and tell your family that you lost your job and now we can’t get married?

** his friend that passed away he had known for years and had also died riding the motorcycle that my partner had purchased (which I said no to, because I said someone would get hurt)

*** my partner suffers with FAS, unmedicated ADHD and does have diagnosed anger management issues