Sick of this monster in law

She’s been the one who is all lovey and sweet to my face but behind my back she’s evil.

She talks major crap on me, she favors her other daughter in law and that girl is so awful. Shes disrespectful, she never talks to my MIL, she doesn’t even like being around her yet she’s the favorite. She never calls her or checks in with her. Me and my MIL have very identical traits and how we act and just are very similar and I thought that she would love me and ID grow on her but no matter how hard I fight for her to treat me like a daughter like she does the other girl I’m just the one she tolerates because of my partner. Its sad because out of everyone IM the one who calls and checks in, and fights for her when I see someone treating her bad. Neither of her sons or the other wife does.

It’s going on 5 years. I gave her her very first grandchild. She wanted a boy so bad we had a boy. I let her in the delivery room when I didn’t really wanna but I wanted to bond with her. No matter what I do, how respectful I am. She just doesn’t treat me well. I’ve never been rude or disrespectful to this lady even after she’s said the worse things. I think the best example of something she did SO horrible was when I was going through bad depression during my pregnancy I couldn’t eat, couldn’t keep anything down no matter how hard I tried and ended up in the ER 3 times due to almost loosing my child…. She said to my partner I was trying to “ purposely kill my son”!!!!!! I was sick physically and mentally. I didn’t try to kill my son I was going through ALOT and a high risk pregnancy took a toll on me mentally. It took a lot for me to get past that. Maybe I’m numb to it not even over it.

She has cancer now and she’s going for her surgery next week and she wants my partner, her other son and his wife to be the ones staying with her. They will all 3 rotate nights, I said “ gee thanks for the invite” in a laughing tone to kind of joke around in a way ( even tho it was upsetting ) and she said “ well you have to take care of the kids and I don’t want austin ( my partner ) having to take care of the kids by himself over night. Like he’s the father!!!!!!!!!!! That’s also what he does not just me!! Then she goes on to say “ you need to stay home so austin doesn’t have too.. but you’ll be fine you always stay home with them” like how much pf a major b can you be towards me? She gives him like a hall pass on being a father for everything!!!! I’m just EXPECTED to be a PERFECT mother and partner at all times or she’ll try to get my partner to leave me . I’m so tired of it. This isn’t even the tip of everything she’s done but idk how much more I can take from her. At this point hearing her name I just get so angry and disgusted. My partner never defends me either even tho he says he does. When I told him tonight what his mom told me he said “ oh that’s not cool” then switched topics. Since she has cancer I try my hardest to be chill about this and not argue or bring anything up because yes it’s a sensitive time and it sucks what she’s going through. But at the same time I mentally can’t handle it anymore with her.

Anyone else have a terrible in law what do you do?!?! 😭 I’m just at a point where I’m very unhappy in marriage. This has been a big issue for years and I know he does not defend me because I’ve heard him calling her when we have a small argument or a big one venting and she’s feeding right into it. Then she’ll call me and pretend like she cares and loves me. I’m just so over the mental distress it’s taking s toll. Would I be terrible to leave?. Idk anymore.