Advice needed!!!

I just had my 5th baby. I've had 4 pretty healthy pregnancies and minus being overweight and gestational diabetes controlled with diet only. This last pregnancy felt a little harder on me, maybe because I was at my heaviest weight? Towards the end of my pregnancy I ended up getting covid a month before I had baby. Nothing serious, I was fine. I ended up having a sinus and double ear infection right after. I was put on antibiotics for it and then a few days later I felt like my neck was thick snd was having trouble breathing comfortably. We assumed it was an allergic reaction to the meds. After a week of struggling I finally asked for a NST for baby as my blood pressure was starting to creep up on and off. I went for one NST and everything was fine. I also forgot to mention, before I had covid baby was measuring small. Anyways, I had a second NST and my blood pressure was 186/98. I was admitted to the hospital and induced that day. I was 36w6d. Baby was born in respiratory distress and monitored overnight and sent to the nicu the next morning. There he spent 10 days that felt like 2 months until his lungs built up enough surfactant to take over and breathe better on his own. He's now a perfectly healthy 7 week old. 6 hours after I had him, I hemmoraged due to being on magnesium for the pre-eclampsia. Fast forward a few days after being released from the hospital I still felt like I had a heavy chest. Went back to the ER and was told I had a touch of HELLP syndrome with higher elevated liver enzymes. Over the next few weeks it got a little better each day but all in all it was a horrible experience and very rough. However, my husband and I have always had our hearts set on 6 kids. After this traumatic experience we went ahead and schedule a vasectomy. But I have found its making my depression 10x worse making this quick decision. I know there is a chance all of this can happen again, but my question is, has anyone had this happen and went on to have more pregnancies and been fine???? We are putting off his vasectomy for now and I will be starting birth control, mainly because I need time to process and get back to myself before making a permanent decision and work through my depression. Any thoughts?? Stories?? Thanks for listening