Parent etiquette on playgrounds, etc.?

Question

I’m a first time mom and my kid is 2. He’s very sweet but I’ve run into situations where we’ll be at an indoor playground or park, etc. and sometimes older kids will push or shove my kid out of the way but usually it’s only once but occasionally (like today) this boy kept seeking my kid out and pushing him, we tried to go to a different part but the kid kept finding us. I couldn’t see any parent nearby so I just nicely asked the boy if he could please not push him. Is that acceptable if there isn’t a parent present? I definitely never make it a big deal or want to parent someone else’s child so I just wanted to hear from others what the proper way of handling that is or if what I said was okay? Definitely did not yell or be stern just very nicely said it. Of course if it’s just one time I don’t do anything and I completely understand kids are learning all the time so I don’t want to be a jerk about anything! Who knows maybe my kid will go through a pushing phase too ha It’s really only the times where it keeps happening from the same kid that I’m curious how to handle

Answer

If it’s just one time, I’ll brush it off. If it happens again I’ll ask nicely one time, and if it happens again I will be stern and look for parents. We had a situation at the playground with older boys (8-10 years old, 100% know better) purposely scaring my 3 year old on the slide. They were on the top cover of the slide, the popping out at her and yelling. After I used a “mom/teacher” voice it stopped.

Answer

I would have reacted similarly but you also need to keep in mind that your child is observing too. They are learning how to handle a situation like that and will likely try to copy your reaction when it happens when they are alone. So having said that, the only thing I would have done differently is NOT ask the other child if they could stop pushing. Saying “can you please stop pushing?”, is a way of asking permission. That’s what we have taught our kids too. Say please for permission, right? So why ask permission of the kid if he can stop pushing. You are the adult. You are the authority there at that moment. Next time, just tell the kid “stop pushing”. We teach our kids to say stop or no and we teach them to recognize those words to explain another person’s boundaries. So first I would have walked away and explained to my son why we walked away. Then if it continued, I would have told my son it is ok to tell him to stop pushing. If it continued on from there, I would have sternly told the other kid to stop pushing and get away from us right now. Continued any further, I would have demanded parent’s interaction. You as the adult are the example for all the kids that are watching.

Answer

I would not be nice to anyone hurting my kid. You fuck with my kid, you fuck with me. If no parent is stepping in to watch their child’s behavior, then you have to do it for them. But nobody is shoving my daughter and especially not in front of me.

Answer

I would do the exact same in this situation. I think it’s a totally appropriate way to handle it.

Answer

You don't have to be polite to a random kid who is following yours around to bully. 
This is your opportunity to teach your child how to stand up for themselves. 
Next time yell loud enough for all the parents at the park to hear you 
"Stop pushing my kid now!!! DO NOT TOUCH HIM AGAIN" 
That would draw enough attention for all the parents at the paek to pay attention to their own kids and show all the other kids that your kid is not one to be bullied. 
It shows your kid how to establish boundaries for his own body. 
It teaches him that people he doesn't know should not touch him.

Answer

In that situation I model to my child how to respond so that when I’m not around he has the tools to do it himself one day hopefully. So in that situation I’d turn to my son and say, you can say (turning towards the other boy with a stop hand out), “Stop. I don’t like it” and then model walking away.

Answer

Absolutely address it kindly if no parents are around.
And this has happened to me a couple of times over the last few years, sometimes there’s a groups of teens or young adults playing kickball or frisbee golf at our park and a few times they’ve decided to be nostalgic and play on the playground. They are young and thoughtless and have no idea how big and powerful and dangerous their bodies are. They run around and leap off stuff and zoom down the slides and heaven forbid you have a merry go round like we do.
I’ve always given them a wary eye, gathered the littles with their parents to another part of the playground and then if it continues or worsens I pull aside whichever of them looks the oldest/kindest and explained to them the park is for kids and they’ve hurt some kids and would they kindly round up their friends and run around the park outside the playground area. 
They’ve always been very accommodating once they’ve realized how inappropriate their “play” is. 👍

Answer

I was in this exact situation just the other week. Two older kids purposely  picked out my kids to scare them or make things unavailable for them. First I said: we don't do that to others. They kept at it and I ended up standing at the activity there were doing making sure they couldn't stop or hinder my kids. After a little while they just stopped and walked to another part of the playground.

Answer

See I am a kinder teacher as well as a mama and sometimes I forget that I shouldn’t be strenuous with other peoples kids.  
But on thos case, I don’t think you did anything wrong.  The kid was bothering your child and you wanted him to stop.  Tou did a good job.

Parent etiquette on playgrounds, etc.?

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