Happy anniversary to me… not..

Today is my 8 year anniversary.. anyways. Hubby was very sweet this morning, and woke me up saying how much he loves me and happy anniversary.

Then after I woke up, he wanted to have an extremely deep conversation with me about how he feels I don’t fully trust him and he wishes I could and we could be happy.

**I will say, I struggle with trust because of our past. I actively try to work on it, and yes I married him so that should mean I’m over everything and trust him. But unfortunately, I still struggle with issues and sometimes I causes issues. I’m in therapy for it. I admit I am not perfect and have trust issues.

I just didn’t feel it was super important to talk about today, out of all days, on our anniversary. I had to bring up the past, bring up names I haven’t in a whole, relive the past basically to explain to him why I still have some issues.. we started to fight and he said I shouldn’t of married him if I wasn’t willing to trust him completely. Again, yes I agree but why are we talking about this right now.. could we of waited till tomorrow?

Then we go pick up my car from the shop and I drive my car home and he drove his. When we got home, I noticed something didn’t look good on the dash. I told my husband to come check it out, and immediately he started yelling “this is fucking retarded why didn’t you look at the car before you drove it to make sure everything was good? Now we have to drive back there.” “This is stupid” “why don’t you ever think?” Etc.. so I didn’t want to talk to him anymore..

He walked in the house and I stayed in the car. I needed a minute or two.. after everything he was saying to me.. anyways, he runs outside into my car and is screaming “come the fuck on get out of the fucking car” and I told him I needed some space just for a minute and he told me how stupid that was and it was pissing him off I wanted to stay in the car..

Now we’re both inside the house and I’m just upstairs away from him..

Happy anniversary to us.. I guess.. he hasn’t come up here to talk to me or anything and I’m fact he yelled I can go to my moms for Easter by myself.. which we had planned for weeks and paid for both of us to go to a brunch… I am so heartbroken.. why on my anniversary? I had this idea of how today was gonna go.. we had dinner and movie plans..