My LO thinks she’s in charge…sometimes I think so too. How do I gain control without the temper tantrums?

Question

Is spanking the answer? Ignoring temper tantrums?  Try and divert her attention but doesn’t always work. FYI I have extremely low iron- so I struggle with lack of energy to keep up and usually give in. I’ve had a iron infusion recently which gives me a little bit more energy- where do I start showing her who’s boss? Do I give her treats (don’t want to give her too much and she starts getting fat) please Help!

Answer

Spanking is never the answer. That’ll just teach her to hit when she wants someone to do something. Check out biglittlefeelings, and also raisedgood. Making sure to spend quality time is also very important, keep the connection there, and she’ll be more likely to want to listen to you. At this age, they really do want to make you happy, but will also test boundaries, it’s developmentally normal and important that they do this to develop their sense of self.

Answer

Sometimes it helps to talk through their feelings and see things through their eyes. 
For example, 'it looks like you're really upset you couldn't have ice cream for breakfast. Would you like to have it for dessert later?' My kid just wants to feel understood a lot of the time. 
Or 'the toy doesn't want to play with you any more because you're hitting your sister. Maybe you can try again later, do you want to read a book or go outside now?'
For the big tantrums, I just sit beside him and offer to help him calm down when he's ready. Sometimes it takes a looooong time but it's worth the work to keep his trust.

Answer

Try diffent things.
Parenting books and "methods" are a bunch of BS. Every kid is diffent and diffent things work best with diffent kids. Sometimes you have to yell(like with my daughter), sometimes you have to spank, sometimes you can give a stern word and redirect. The only thing that is never okay is hurting your kids. If it leaves a mark, permanent or not, you're doing something wrong. Figure out what works for her because she needs to know she isn't the boss. We maintain in our house that it is not a democracy. Mom and Dad are in full control.

My LO thinks she’s in charge…sometimes I think so too. How do I gain control without the temper tantrums?

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