So scared to give birth

This is my 3rd pregnancy. The first was good. Labor was okay, I tore and they had a hard time finding the tear so I needed a blood transfusion. My second pregnancy was good. Labor was the worst. I’m completely traumatized. The epidural did not work. I also had a postpartum hemorrhage like an hour after I had my baby. I really thought that was it for me. I didn’t require a transfusion though.

Now, I’m unexpectedly pregnant. I’m so depressed and terrified everyday thinking that something bad will happen or that I will hemorrhage again and won’t be okay. I want to enjoy this pregnancy but I just can’t.

I don’t know what to do. Any uplifting experiences, stories, or advice would really be appreciated. Please help me 😔