unconsensual act, but bf apologized

hi everyone. my bf and i were hooking up tonight, but not going all the way since he forgot to bring condoms & he knows that that’s a non-negotiable for me

he’s never ever gotten upset about needing a condom for sex, nor has he ever pressured me into having sex without one after i communicated that boundary very early on in our relationship

tonight was different tho… after a bit of mutual foreplay, he went back to work on pleasing me. i was laying down on my back & he was basically hovering over me and kissing my neck as he fingered me— totally cool w/ me, i was very into it

but then all of a sudden i could tell it was no longer his fingers, but his penis rubbing all up against my vagina.. i immediately pulled my head back, stopped kissing him, and looked at him like wtf??

he quickly stopped, put his penis away, apologized profusely, and said that he wasn’t actually going to put it in, but he just wanted to “tap it”… he then get off of me entirely & just laid next to me apologizing for it again and again, saying that it was wrong of him & that he shouldn’t have done it

i told him he’s right that it wasn’t okay, but it’s whatever bc at least he stopped himself & apologized.. but the truth is that i wanted to cry, i couldn’t believe he did that. i’ve been SA’d before so i was immediately brought back to some trauma. all i could think about was what if i didn’t notice the switch? would he have kept going? is a “sorry” good enough? i wanted to tell him right then and there that it triggered something in me, but i never told him about my SA history & tbh idk if i really want him to ever know

he’s NEVER ever made me feel uncomfortable like that until tonight & idk how to deal with it aside from having that conversation. i really do love him but wow did this situation make me wanna be sick. what should i do? any advice?

EDIT: a lot of people are saying that i should’ve communicated that boundary. i DID!! and very clearly at that. as stated in my original post, he’s KNOWN that condoms are non-negotiable for me since the very beginning of our relationship. as someone in the comments said, it was still unconsensual.. had he asked me first, it wouldn’t have been this big of a deal. period.

EDIT PT2: i never once said he assaulted me so telling me that i’m exaggerating is uncalled for. i’m not mad that he did it. i was upset at the fact that he decided to test that boundary without asking. had i been given a heads-up, i would’ve been totally okay with it. a simple “is it cool if i do this?”would’ve avoided my freak-out entirely. the fact that he pushed that limit without warning is what scared me and made me worried he’d do more.. i’m not “afraid to give it all to a guy” as someone said. and as for how i didn’t see it, like i said, he was hovering over me in a mostly dark room.. and i was enjoying it otherwise so my eyes were rolled back as he choked me with his other hand. there’s no way i could’ve physically seen it happening in the moment, i noticed it when i felt it was no longer his hand… either way, we talked it out last night? i told him about my SA history, & we’re good now. y’all can stop arguing in the comments now