Anyone else feel like a single parent when married?🤦🏼‍♀️

Question

Now, let me start off by saying I’m extremely grateful for my kids and extremely grateful I can stay at home BUT I always feel like I do it all with little if nothing help. My husband works, I do EVERYTHING else. My daughter is breastfed and on me 24/7. I never ask for help with her it’s all me. She is three months, he’s only changed 4 diapers. Never fully spends time, never changed her, never up at night, Ofcourse he cant feed her I don’t know. He’s been getting our son on the bus in the morning but I make sure his HW, lunch and clothes are set. Our marriage has been really rocky the last two years and I just feel wore out. Before you say, just tell him how you feel I pretty much have. I’ve cried n begged for his help to scrub the shower or mow the yard. It will get so disgusting before he ends up doing it. He promises he’d help after work n more with kids then never does. I feel like a broken record. End rant

Answer

I pretty much had to lay it all out for my husband. I told him I resented him. I resented his free time, that he can come and go, that he gets enough sleep and can shower everyday. I was honest I told him I would be happier as a single parent because at least I wouldn’t have all this pent up rage and resentment. That I was doing everything myself and working full time with no help and it would be easier without having to clean up after him. I gave an ultimatum. I said I was leaving if things didn’t change. I gave him 3 months to get his shit together. He was devastated. We worked out a schedule he does bath every night, we take turns doing bedtime. Every other Saturday we take turns taking the kids so the other has free time, and when I finished breastfeeding we took turns on night shift. I was desperate and I wasn’t bluffing I was leaving if I had to keep living that way and he knew it. It’s been a year and things are not perfect but much better. I think you need to decide if you want to stay in this marriage and then he needs to also decide what he wants. If you guys are willing to work on it give yourself a timeline and realistic goals.

Answer

I've stopped asking my husband to do things. Because then it's a choice. I now tell him to do things. "honey go take out the trash while I tend to the baby, it needs to be done" or I say "either you unload and load the dishwasher or come tend to the baby, because it needs to get done."

Answer

🙋‍♀️
Today baby wouldn’t go down for her nap, then wouldn’t go down for her 2nd nap. I was exhausted & have been asking hubby to watch her for an hour or two for a nap the past week, never happened. 
Today I literally just handed her over, said she’s not sleeping & I need to take a nap. Went to the room & shut the door. He came back an hour later & tried to wake me up saying she needs to eat. I told him to figure it out & went back to sleep. 
Took a 3hr nap & he just woke me up for bedtime. 
So you know 100% he can do it, just chooses to let me do everything all the time. 
It fucking sucks, I definitely understand how you feel

Answer

Oh man, that’s gotta be the worst kind of “single.” Makes you feel even worse.  I’m sorry!!!

Anyone else feel like a single parent when married?🤦🏼‍♀️

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