Self Sabotaged

I have ocd and anxiety. I often tend to self sabotage and end relationships before anything really begins as they really trigger me. Well in may I met this really nice guy and we were very compatible. Everything I’ve wanted in a partner. I’ve tried so hard to fight these thoughts and sabotaging tendencies but I did try to cut him off a few times. He chose to stay or would always come back. For the short amount of time, we have gone through alot together (ex: an abortion). Anyways I knew my tendencies to always end the relationship hurt him and can be manipulative even tho he chooses to stay. I officially ended it yesterday for his sake and im heartbroken that I tried so hard yet these thoughts and intense emotions always win in the end. I was wondering if anyone has any advice to how they control themselves from self sabotaging? I am in therapy but my therapist has been away for a little while. Also is there any way to repair the relationship later on?