Any advice??! He hurt my feelings

Question

My bf tries to have sex with me every single day , usually multiple times a day.  Sometimes I have a low sex drive. Sometimes I don’t feel good or I’m tired through out the week and I say no. 
I have a higher sex drive on the weekends and tend to do it more then. 
Tonight I told him that I was gonna take a shower and then we could have sex. I took a shower, went downstairs naked to him, and he told me he didn’t want to. 
I was a lil disappointed and embarrassed but I said “ok that’s fine”. I put my clothes on and went back to the living room by him. 
I asked him why he didn’t want to have sex and why he didn’t tell me that before I took a shower. And he said that since I always turn him down that it doesn’t put him in the mood anymore. 
Which I took as ( you don’t turn me on anymore) 
I feel so stupid and embarrassed. And it hurts my feelings honestly. 
We had such a good day together. We were born just in the best moods. I was hoping to have sex, cuddle, watch a movie and then go to sleep. And I feel like the night is ruined now. And I want to cry. 
Any advice ???
Also, I’m not upset that he turned me down. He’s allowed to say “no” too. I’m upset that he basically said that he’s not turned on by me because I turn him down.

Answer

To your edit: uhhhh.. I’m not sure why you are so upset by that? You are constantly turning him down. That wouldn’t put me in the mood either. It sounds like it’s a your way or no way type thing.

Answer

And this is most likely how he feels when you turn him down. Not really a turn on. You are not the only one with feelings in that relationship. Think about it. You get turned down once and are so hurt you make a post online, now imagine how he must feel being turned down all the time.

Answer

Why is okay for you to turn sex down but it’s not okay for him to turn it down?

Answer

Okay but him trying to initiate multiple times a day is a lot!! Especially for you if you’re tired or not feeling good/up to it. Our bodies sometimes need more than a couple hours to recover lol, not always but just sayin. Not to mention craving other forms of  intimacy.  
Maybe try to talk about the fact that (while you understand he doesn’t like you turning him down) you aren’t doing so as a means to hurt him or ‘get at him’. You just have a lower drive and don’t want sex to turn into a chore/something you resent. 
And he can communicate instead of trying to turn you down as a jab. Of course both of y’all can say no but he did it to make you feel bad this time. Maybe because that’s why he thinks you do it? Idk. 
Good luck

Answer

You guys don't know how to communicate, it seems like you're both in an adversary relationship and use sex as weapon. Have a good conversation and come to a happy middle that works for both of you.

Answer

You two need to sit down and talk. He’s likely feeling undesirable an if his sex drive is on the higher side or is of more importance in the relationship for him it makes sense he would start to feel turned off by the constant turn down. People can only take so much rejection.

Answer

While i get that he has needs and can say no to sex as well, it sounds like it's retaliation and not that he wasn't in the mood. Like you said, he could have spoken up right when you suggested sex if he wasn't in the mood. And him bringing up that that's how he feels when you turn him down, it sounds like he's just trying to be vindictive. I would have a serious conversation with him about what you guys can do when you're not in the mood for sex, there are many things that are sexual adjacent so he can feel intimately close with you without you feeling like you're coarsed into sexual contact. If you're okay with fooling around then you can do stuff like sensual massages for each other, taking a bath together, kissing each other's body, making out and getting handsy etc.

Any advice??! He hurt my feelings

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