Husband lies

We’ve had so many problems in the past and I thought we had worked through them for the sake of our family, home and our marriage. He had been cheating on me and stopped for awhile on Snapchat. He deleted it, then recently made a new one. He’s kept me posted on it telling me he isn’t doing anything on it but it’s only what he thinks I want to see. I had seen he had added this girl and said she was just a spam account. Which, those happen all the time to me so okay.

Fast forward and I hop on his onlyfans to see if he had actually deleted that too like he said, which he didn’t and the same girl pops up on it that he’s friends with on Snapchat. So he’s like this girls shit on Onlyfans and reaching out to her on both Snapchat and Onlyfans in her dms. I even found a freaking ponytail in our couch that’s not mine that he just left there 🙄 So last night I finally told him that I will never compare to her body or all these other chicks bodies that he won’t stop reaching out to or looking at. I ask him if he’s willing to swear on our marriage that he isn’t doing anything again, to which he swears and his baby blue eyes look me right in the eyes while saying this. I gave him the chance to come clean and he just keeps up this stupid, shitty lie. This girls in a relationship, he’s married to me and both of us have kids. I’m SO over the lying, the feeling of not being sexy enough.. that I’m not put first and neither is our kid.

Just needed to vent. I feel like I’m going to lose my shit soon 🙃